i think i'm going to move to wordpress for a while. see you at http://humaimtiaz.wordpress.com

on msn right now:

me: so iman ali has the most paindoo accent ever. ur heart would break if u spoke to her
dad: you got to be kiddin
me: no im not. i just spoke to her
dad: If that is so, then it proves that beauty cannot have brains
me: haha
dad: These kind of people should function with their lips sealed with Super Glue
me: yeah and amna haq's was worse. i thought her maasi had picked up the phone
dad: I am really, seriously, honestly disappointed
dad: What a shock
me: yes dad. stop reading sunday now :P
dad: Well, there are still some frames that are worth a glance. That is if Sunday overcomes the obsession of showing arm pits
me: hahaha
dad: Honestly - I get up Sunday mornings, drag my painful butt down the stairs to pick up the paper and then, with great apprehension, take out Sunday and what stares you in the face are various arm pits. Believe me it causes nausea
me: hahahahahahahahahahaha
dad: I did write to Sunday once that they abort this fetish but I think my letter went up someones arm pit
me: or worse its ZQ
dad: Oh yeah - Damsels with so many kilometers on them that even the Bedford trucks are ashamed

this is not good. i have watched 3 movies since saturday and finished my 'collection of plays by sartre' which have left my eyes and brain in a mush [god i want to be V in V for Vendetta] and have tried in vain to write an article, which try as i may, will not go beyond 1500 words. i am beginning to believe that MS Word is waging a conspiracy against me and word count is stuck at 1497. i am honestly now so brain dead that my brain cells are also sending me messages that i should subject myself to self inflicted skin ripping torture. excuse the randomness, i am pms-ing and this is not a good time to leave comments like so true and LOL because LOL to you, and dont ask me what my version of LOL means. it does not also help that every morning as i drag my self out of bed wondering for the umpteenth time if it is all worth it that i see my cat snuggled in her basket, enjoying the onset of winters like only a spoilt cat like her can. truly, winter is her season, one should see her in the summers, she flops down on the bathroom tiles and stares at the shower and alternately the fridge with longing stares. i know she has her eyes on my collection of lindt chocolates, but i have ensured that my father stocks the fridge with her favorite kit kats, so my dark chocolates are safe, hallelujah.

this is not good. i am accusing my cat literally of taking food out of my mouth. i think it is time to step away from the computer now and gobble down some happy pills.

Blogwordoftheday: Secret

Yesterday was not a good day. Apart from the morning where C, clutching her head in a futile attempt to make her hangover vanish, asked why I had let her have those last two drinks. Anyhoo I should know better, but the callous disregard for ethics in journalism in this country still shock me everyday. Needless to say, I would have really liked a shiny new gun, leftover from the much hated by ordinary citizens IDEAS exhibition. And coming to Karachi, Sin makes a very valid point about the ordeal of visiting Frere Hall here

This khaddi made thing from Colombo that I had to spend 20 minutes trying to fit in my suitcase grins back at me maniacally all the time. I do not quite know whether to smack it or tell it to mind its own business. Vott I do hope is that it does not give my grandmother [who is staying with us for a few days] nightmares.

There was supposed to be something about a secret in here somewhere. Ah yes. I am so pissed off at you, that if I see you in the next 8 hours, you just might end up being the focal point of my collective rage at various people. Can't help it, I SO want to see the expression on your face when I call you the scum of this solar system. Earth kiya, I bet Mars and Pluto too won't have such scum residing on their surface.

And the second secret is that I want to be like Brie from Desperate Housewives, guzzle down wine bottle after wine bottle and be a master at shooting people.

Oh dear. Did I just say I want to be a character from Desperate Housewives? I must really be losing what's left of my mind. Hmm, maybe I should call my first book Desperate Singletons.

So after the success of the 'dengue mosquito eating' fraindshaipper [please ask Sami for details], I just received these 2 SMS' in the morning from the number +923218955064

Friendship?

20 minutes later:

Hey i am also lezbo like u can we ve a friendship?

Please feel free to call the number mentioned and give him [i am SURE its a he] a verbal lashing. Have a nice day :)